Saturday, June 11, 2011

Can you believe this is our life?

Last November I specifically remember walking home from the EL on a snowy night think about how happy I was. About to be engaged, loving the city life, great friends, amazing family, loving my job, loving grad school, and excited about the future. I often would say to James, "Can you believe this is our life? We live in Chicago, you're in law school, I'm getting my masters degree!" Thursday morning our lives were thrown upside down by a fire in our building and we find ourselves asking again, "Can you believe this is our life?" My mom is dead, our stuff is ruined, we're about to have zero income for the next year, and we need to clean and replace everything, find another apartment and move. WTF just happened? I've been pushing on since my mom passed away saying to myself, "Just make it 'til the quarter is over, just make it 'til June 21 when work is done." I'm pretty sure I'm on the brink of a breakdown. Here are some very cliche but helpful phrases I have been using for self talk:

  • Keep calm and carry on
  • What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
  • God will never give you more than you can handle
  • Only you have the power to change your attitude
  • Be still and know that I am god.
  • God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference
I just wanted summer to get here so I could breathe, grieve, and just BE. Guess that was too much to ask for, huh?

What are some other good self talk phrases?

Also, a special shout out to the Chicago Fire Department for their speedy response. As James says, "They kicked ass, took names, and rolled out".