I get by with a little help from my friends

I know this has been said before, but today I am thankful for my friends. A few weeks ago at my retail job a co-worker told me I harp on people and I would be more successful in whatever my future profession might be if I could reflect on that. This guy was my favorite co-worker, nice to everyone, and generally a good mood dude. I told him that I felt like I worked really hard and try to encourage others to as well. I was so shocked that he was bold enough to tell me this, and even more shocked that he felt this way. I went in the bathroom and nearly cried, lost sleep, and dreaded going to work with him the next week. The more I think about it, the more I feel like this may be true. I do nag the boyfriend, I do find myself stepping up and delegating, but I also try to encourage and say thanks.

Death is a funny thing. So is moving far distances. People the boyfriend and I were very close with  never once reached out to me when my mom passed. Now, understand that I told James I didn't want to really be fielding phone calls, but I am still kind of hurt about it. I would never say anything to them, but I'm not sure it's something I'll forget. No text, no card, no plant, no facebook message, basically nothing. Are these friends? How do we define friends? By convenience? Proximity? This is especially interesting when evaluating relationships when it comes to the wedding invite list. Do you invite people who only show up for the good times in your life and are non-existent during your lowest points?

Now, for the thankful part. I have made some great new friends and developed deeper relationships with acquaintances who are the best time to hang out with. Not only are they so fun, they really care. I hope I adequately express how much I value their relationships.

Today after leaving internship I had a new text from a newer friend. "Based on weekend's observations-you delegating breakfast duties, inspiring campfire games, and asking about my well being-I know you will be a great counselor, mentor and contact for all students you encounter. It's a perfect fit." This text was so uplifting and meaningful to me, particularly because of the above experience with my coworker. It felt so good to be validated in this way.

How can I have that type of impact on others? Who can you sincerely thank today?

I'd Rather be Golfing

Golf bar crawl 2010

This Thursday I am thankful for my new golf clubs. The Mr. got me golf clubs for my birthday and we have been getting some use out of them the last few weeks. The other day's rant about our finances was just a short moment in time on that one day. Most of the time I don't feel so overwhelmed, so don't worry! Today I am thankful for the time the Mr. and I get to spend together on the golf course. When we're golfing together we are encouraging each other, cheering for each other, teaching and learning. This time is also nice because we are doing something together that doesn't involve the TV or the computer; something active. I also cherish this time because we are outside enjoying the sun, lake, trees, and nature in general. So today I am thankful for golf clubs, because they are so much more than they were ever intended to be.

Today was also my first time visiting the South Shore Cultural Center in Chicago. This Chicago landmark is also listed in the National Register and is absolutely beautiful. It needs a bit more care, but it is still such a cool place in the city that many people probably have never even seen. There is a municipal golf course on its grounds and is very affordable to play. You should check it out if you ever have the chance!

Hiatus No More

The blog has been on quite the hiatus, not for lack of new experiences, but in attempts for it to not become depressing and a chore to read. Although writing can be quite therapeutic and provide catharsis for many, myself included, I just haven't felt like sharing with "the world", i.e. my 9 "followers". I have been writing though, in my personal journal, on loose leaf pieces of paper, and for mom's memorial.

Here are the quick updates:

• Came back from San Clemente
• Started classes
• Sent out resumes for internship
• Got Engaged Friday, January 7, 2011
• Bought a wedding dress
• Mom passed away January 22, 2011

The more I think about it, the more I feel ready to start processing her passing, and writing. If it is too sad, or not fun for you to read, then don't. When I look at the Top 10 Reasons I Started This Blog I remember the blog is not really for other people, rather to provide self reflection and preserve memories. So, be prepared for some not always fun posts in the future.

So this Thursday, I am thankful to have some type of outlet for my own grief. I am thankful for my family and friends who are so supportive and understanding. I haven't called many of you back, because I just don't feel like talking. I'm sorry. I will soon, I promise.

To Grandmother's House We Go

Thankful Thursday is coming to an end. Today I am thankful for my job, again. This time I am thankful that I have two weeks off to go spend with old friends and family.

In the week we are in Michigan we will have the following events:
12/17 Counseller walk through, Lansing
12/18 Edgerle holiday get together, Grand Rapids
Spend time with James' brother, Kent, Stanton
12/21 Visit with Leigha, Lansing
12/23 Get together with high school friends, Grand Rapids
12/24 Christmas Eve with the Cullimore aunts and uncles, Perry and Weigel's, Lansing
12/25 Christmas with my immediate family, Spring Lake. Christmas with James' dad?
12/26 Christmas with grandma Taylor etc, Grand Rapids
          drive back to Chicago
12/27 Fly to California!!
          Visit with Kathleen, Alex and Ashleigh, John, friends and James' family. We have a whole long list of 
          places to eat while we're there too. Maybe that will be my next post!

Intermixed in there will be me printing and sending resumes for my internship next fall, Christmas shopping, and just hanging with my sister's kids, Heather, Tina, Diane, and Kim.

I can't wait to be home for a while and really relax, although, it doesn't look like there will be much of that. Pretty soon we are going to work on prioritizing and saying "no". How do you do it all when you really want to? Although I sound very overwhelmed, I truly am thankful we both have so much time off to spend with loved ones.

Christmas is a Feeling

Tonight Kim, a friend from school, and I went to Christmas at DePaul, a free event with a narrator retelling the Christmas story accompanied by a huge choir and orchestra playing Christmas hymns. Last year Kim and I went with her in-laws and it was very beautiful. We both agreed this year's was even better! It was so fun watching the children's chorus signing, moving, and feeling the songs. The church is beautiful, the conductor was fascinating to watch, the atmosphere was so warm and peaceful.

I am thankful that I am a member of the DePaul Community. The University really provides a huge assortment of opportunities for the students and community. This week alone I have been to two events I learned of through DePaul. On Tuesday a different friend and I went to see a screening of the new documentary Race to Nowhere. This movie was pretty interesting, especially for a future counselor, parents, and educators. While the movie definitely has an agenda, and I may not agree with everything, it really makes some valid points.

I need to find more time to blog

TGIF!

Today I am thankful for Friday. This Friday the kids are not in class and the teachers have professional development. Unfortunately, I don't get to go learn about RtI, instead I will be filing in the records room. I love the kids, but I have been super tired this week. Too many evening activities. Monday was Monday Night Football with the gang, Tuesday I worked at Sur La Table, Wednesday Kim came over and made soup and then we went to kettelbells class with Sara and Kristen. Either the class was really hard, or I just haven't worked out in about a year. I think it was probably a combination of both. Regardless, going up and down the stairs today at work was killer. So was chaperoning the 7th and 8th grade dance! Those things always start off so awkward and end up being stinky. Hello! Hot, sweaty, pubescent 13 and 14 year olds. Gross!

So today, I am thankful that I get to sit in the records room tomorrow and also that those awkward days are over. I guess vodka helps the awkward, self-conscious dancing too! So thanks vodka!

I almost forgot, Friday is pay day! I am sure my mom and James will be thankful for that too, because I owe them money.  :)

Lord Have Mercy on My Turkey

I have only cooked a whole bird once in my life. It was a chicken and it was wildly unsuccessful. We were living at Villa Sienna in Irvine and had Kelly, James' mom, on the speaker phone giving instructions as I was screaming. It was gross with the neck and other bits. Today is my second attempt at roasting a bird. I am using Ina Garten's recipe. Jame's step-mom, Pam, is here and she helped get the yucky parts out of the bird. Thank goodness.

I may be a bit OCD, but I wanted to make sure everything got done so below are the rest of the day's tasks. We're already ahead by 1 hour. If the recipe is correct with the bird only cooking 3 hours we'll be eating at noon! I am not sure why I didn't trust my gut and wait to put the darn thing in. My biggest fear is that it will be done too soon. So please Lord, have mercy on my turkey!

 
More recaps to follow after dinner!

James just walked out of the bedroom. I've been up for 2 hours with his parents. Thanks a lot, bf. (Just kidding, I don't really mind a bit)

UPDATE: The turkey came out perfect and that is what I am thankful for today! Happy Thanksgiving! 

On Mawwage, Part IV

Still talking about marriage, but more about weddings. And, in case you forgot, today is Thankful Thursday! Today I am thankful for such amazing parents who have been together for 42? years. WHAT?? 42 years! I don't want to make them seem like saints; no one is perfect, but from what I can see, they are pretty much perfect. While I am sure they have had their ups and downs and disagreements I have never once heard them fight or talk to each other in a mean, degrading, unkind tone. This is something I need to work on. I also don't hear them say, "I love you" or show much affection, but that doesn't mean they don't love each other. How humbling it must be for my father to work his entire life to support his wife and children. I hate to share my hard earned money and yet, fathers around the world sign paychecks over to their wives who run the household. Saying "I love you" isn't the only way to show someone how you care for them. Every week my mom makes the same old cookies and cooks them nice and dark just how my dad likes it. She cleans and cooks and makes him be somewhat social. My dad takes on the typical socialized male role of being the main breadwinner and other duties like trash, fixing, yard maintenance, etc.

I do wish we had seen them "fight" while growing up. I think it is important for children and adolescents to have examples of respectful disagreements. It is equally important to see healthy conflict resolution modeled.

I am also thankful that they care enough to want to see me married, and happy, and secure. I am thankful they are willing to help with a wedding, should that day ever come.

So THANK YOU mom and dad for sticking together and being a great example of a loving, caring relationship. And thank you for loving all 4 of us!

Then

Now-ish

What Does it Mean to be Called?

I woke up at 6:45 today even though I have the day off in honor of veterans Day. I couldn't sleep anymore so now I am watching Invictus. I am so thankful to have today off from work becasue I am feeling very run down with a cold or sinus infection. I only wish I could have slept longer. So this Thursday, I am thankful for my new job, the day off, and most importantly the Veterans who serve and protect our country.

Veterans have been called to serve and so have those doing God's work. What does it mean to be called to do something?

I love my new job. I am not a person who really believes in fate, but if I were, this job would be fate. When I got the offer I had one month's rent left, I was beginning to feel desperate for classroom experience, and feeling unfulfilled at my retail job. I have been working for a week now, and absolutely believe I am meant to be here. Even though I won't get my first check until mid-December becasue of the pay periods I feel a sense of peace in my less than favorable financial situation. Did I mention I am making close to what I made at my previous job? I think I may have. When I think about the responsibilities and stress of my old job compared to my job at the school I would gladly take a pay cut in exchange for quality of life. But I didn't really, how awesome is that?

Moving on, I am so thankful for the men and women who have, or currently are, serving in the armed forces. While war, conflicts, and policies are often controversial, I cannot disregard the daily sacrifices made by these men, women, and their families. I have mentioned before how I have been feeling called to help the military families. [Side note- I am not really that religious and using the phrase, "feeling called to help" to me implies being called by God to do this work. Like I said, I don't believe in fate, but there really is no other way to describe this feeling. I guess maybe I am feeling compelled to do it instead, but is phrasing it that way discrediting the feeling? Is it denying that God may truly be calling me to do this? And if he is, what does that mean? How can you ignore it then?] I don't really know how I can help, but here are some ideas; work at a school on a military base or one that serves military children, finding a job as a counselor with the VA or other family services, volunteer with non-profits that serve military families. I don't know what this means or where it will take me...that's what's so exciting about life, right? 

Watching Invictus, it is clear Nelson Mandela was called by someone or something to be a great leader and unite and heal South Africa.


What have you been called to do?

Makeshift Office Space

This Thursday I am thankful for our apartment. More specifically, the separate dining room that in a crunch becomes our office. When I was working full time I was lucky to have a decent sized monitor, laptop with a dock, printer, phone, headset, foot thingy, and keyboard tray. I was the  poster child for workplace ergonomics and I LOVED it. Fast forward a to 2010 and I am a year deep into a masters program, the bf in his first year of law school with no office, no keyboard tray, no foot rest, etc. Instead we have a second bedroom that barely, rarely, never gets used that I have to vigilantly protect from becoming the dumping ground. But I love the guest room. I love that it is always clean and we have a comfortable private place for our parents/guests to stay in when they visit this fabulous city.

Don't you just love my wallpaper?

So today, I am thankful to have a separate dining room that allows me to create a makeshift office when I am in the thick of a quarter that is winding down. It's not fancy; my laptop is on a vintage TV tray bought at a church sale in Winnetka, I have a non-wireless keyboard, extra monitor from undergrad that is super pixelated by today's standards, James' wireless mouse and cords going every direction to every wall outlet. I am also thankful to have a boyfriend who put's up with the mess. Come Monday at 5:30 pm this will all be over and we'll be on to winter break! Until then, the makeshift office will be my home as I finish a 20 page group counseling proposal.

One is Silver and the Other Gold

I am very thankful for my great friends. This past weekend after the MSU v. Northwestern football game Leslie was a bit tipsy but kept saying how she felt so blessed and lucky to have such great friends. It got me thinking about what how lucky the bf and I are.

We had an awesome group of core friends while we lived in Orange County, most were friends from high school, but not all. Bf made some really close work friends who we loved to have over and try new restaurants with. When we were back in SC this summer they all made the half hour drive down to visit with us and celebrate his birthday. We got best friends out of Mikey and Brenna, who lived in our apartment complex, and we both stood in their wedding. As hard as it was to leave these old and new friends when we moved to Chicago we knew it wasn't the end to these relationships.

When we arrived in Chicago we were welcomed again by our old college friends and my friends from home. Our friends here are always doing something fun, organizing parties, trips, dinners, etc. It would be impossible for anyone to feel alone with a group of of friends like this. Many knew the bf had left his oldest friends back in California to join me in Chicago and they often ask me how he is doing. If he misses his friends, if he is feeling included. How sweet is that? Chicago has also brought us closer to my sister and her husband. They have very close friends from college in the city too and immediately made the bf and I part of their core group (MNF!). Their group of friends has also embraced a new couple, Sarah and Brian, who bring new perspectives and personalities to an already amazing group of people.

Girlfriends from Kentwood and their men

Bf's friends from high school and ERAC

Chicago friends!

While it is strange to examine the different social, non-formal groups we belong to, it gives me an overwhelming sense of happiness, and that I am thankful for. I am also thankful for the ability to go months or years without seeing people and falling right back into step with them. The feeling of familiarity, comfort, and security when you are with someone who really knows you, not matter the time in between, is priceless.


What can you do to maintain old friendships? Long distance friendships? Build new friendships?

Thankful Thursdays

I've been slacking a bit in the blogging department since school started. I haven't been disciplined enough to take the time to sit down, reflect, and put thought onto "paper". I have been thinking more and more lately about the need to be thankful and make a conscious effort to maintain and promote a positive perspective in all aspects of life.

So, in an attempt to become more thankful and write more frequently, I introduce to you, Thankful Thursdays! Also, each week I am going to try to write a handwritten thank you note to someone in my life, or maybe a helpful sales person, etc. or at the very least a thankful email.

This Thursday I am especially thankful to be living in a region that experiences the four seasons. Even though winter is very long, I love the snow and the warm feelings of the holidays and being indoors. I love winter foods like chili and braised meats. I even like how it gets dark earlier so you want to stay inside with your loved ones. I am thankful for the beautiful fall colors we are experiencing now, the crisp air, the baked pumpkin seeds and college football. I am thankful for the amazing Michigan summers, all the lakes and rivers, campfires and stories shared among friends, and grilled foods. I am thankful for the spring when it finally arrives, the budding trees, flowers blooming and the smell of rain. I love the seasons and don't know if I could live without them again.

Here is some artwork we are planning on buying for our place that incorporates our love for the seasons and this beautiful city. Visit the Ryan Kapp's website for more information!  I hope he doesn't mind this being on here...maybe I should email and ask permission. I am not sure what the blogger etiquette is. Either way, I want to give credit where it's due!