Scared to Death!

I am adding white water rafting to the 30 Before 30 list. Thinking about it makes me really scared and creates anxiety, but on the other hand, it looks fun and adventurous. In my counseling classes we are learning that a certain level of anxiety and frustration are essential for growth. Anxiety about white water rafting is not going to bring about the same growth as anxiety in a therapeutic session, but it will lead to growth in a different aspect. I am adding it to the list because it is something I am somewhat fearful of, yet don't want to miss out on. Our friends in California, Brenna and Mikey, have a brother who runs a rafting company in Colorado. If I ever go, we're going to go through his company. I was just talking to Brenna about meeting there this summer for a fun trip.

As I grow older I am becoming more cautious and scared of things. For example, I am horrible with needles. My new job required a TB test and I also need a yearly physical. I had to deal with needles twice in one week! I used some self-talk and tried to regulate my breathing to keep from having a semi-fit like the one when I got my tetanus shot earlier this year. Thankfully, those techniques calmed me down, but I just keep thinking how foolish it is. Another example is how I hate to cross the street at busy intersections if the light is blinking or if I think it is about to go yellow. There are many times whoever I am with darts across the street and I am left on the corner waiting for the light to cycle through again. What's up with that?? Is this what 1/4 life is going to be like? Will it get worse?

In order to prevent myself from becoming a boring, unadventurous 30 something I am going to try and push myself in anxiety provoking situations. I am so blessed to only have slight anxiety about silly things. I cannot imagine what it must feel like to have intense anxiety about everyday things.

Just remember: breathe!