Remember the Poor

When I first moved to Chicago I was really taken aback by the lack of friendly faces. I was accustomed to walking by a stranger and smiling, saying hello, or at least acknowledging their presence. I noticed the same thing on the train and on the bus. The city felt cold, impersonal, and mean. I guess that is why Chicago is the Second City and Philly is the city of Brotherly Love (yes, I realize it didn't get the nickname because its people are friendly). After living here for a few weeks I decided to try to smile at 5 people in passing every day, and  maybe they might begin to smile at others. You never know what that person might be going through or how much a smile really means.

When I would smile and look for eye contact many would not even look at me, rather over me or through me. I felt foolish for trying such a thing in a jaded city, although I suspect the more salient feeling was rejection and worthlessness. Trying to make a human connection, however small it may be, and being completely disregarded is something many adults do not experience anymore. We only take the risk to make these connections when we are confident it will be reciprocated.

After experiencing the feelings of these failed attempts I began to reflect on my own behavior. How many times have I walked past someone with a cardboard sign and their hand out and ignored them? How many times have I looked the other way when someone was walking through the train jingling their cup asking for change? What does that feel like to those who have nothing? How might simple acknowledgment of their existence with eye contact or a warm smile impact them? Is it too  much to show kindness to others?

Around the same time, while riding the train, a woman came through with a cup asking for money. Every single person looked at their book or out the window. It wasn't because she was deformed or disgusting, it's because you cannot look another human in the eye without feeling connected and compassion for them. It was to quell their guilt for not sparing 30 cents from their pocket. And I did it too. I looked right out the window with my sunglasses on. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a gentleman reach into his pocket and place all his change in her cup and he said, "I just have to, I would feel so horrible if I didn't." Such a simple gesture moved me to tears on the Red line at the Belmont. His comment got me thinking, do we do these things out of guilt or do we genuinely want to share and help others? Does it matter what motivates us to show kindness?

While giving money to beggars is constantly debated, I decided that day to keep some loose change in my outside purse pocket (still need to be cautious and not pull out the whole wallet!) just in case the lady who works the train around Belmont ever comes through my car again. It is easy to get caught up in the walk and commute and it still huts my feelings when people look past me, but I try to smile at others when I remember to.

This past weekend my sister's husband, and one of our closest friends, lost his father very suddenly. Answering God's calling, Ken Graves used his talents and began a website/webzine with the mission to remember the poor. I believe if he gave change to the homeless it would not be from guilt, but to share God's grace. Please take a moment to visit his website so his passion for serving others will continue from above. http://www.rememberthepoor.net/

Have you smiled at someone today?